[Epub] ↠ Hate List Author Jennifer Brown – Valtrex-4.us

Hate List Five Months Ago, Valerie Leftman S Boyfriend, Nick, Opened Fire On Their School Cafeteria Shot Trying To Stop Him, Valerie Inadvertently Saved The Life Of A Classmate, But Was Implicated In The Shootings Because Of The List She Helped Create A List Of People And Things She And Nick Hated The List He Used To Pick His TargetsNow, After A Summer Of Seclusion, Val Is Forced To Confront Her Guilt As She Returns To School To Complete Her Senior Year Haunted By The Memory Of The Boyfriend She Still Loves And Navigating Rocky Relationships With Her Family, Former Friends And The Girl Whose Life She Saved, Val Must Come To Grips With The Tragedy That Took Place And Her Role In It, In Order To Make Amends And Move On With Her Life

[Epub] ↠ Hate List  Author Jennifer Brown – Valtrex-4.us
  • Hardcover
  • 405 pages
  • Hate List
  • Jennifer Brown
  • English
  • 15 March 2019
  • 0316041440

    10 thoughts on “[Epub] ↠ Hate List Author Jennifer Brown – Valtrex-4.us


  1. says:

    People do it all the time assume that they know what s going on in someone else s head That s impossible And to think it s possible is a mistake A really big mistake A life ruining one if you re not carefulThis is the kind of story I was hoping for when I read This Is Where It Ends a book that promised to delve into the darkness of school shootings, but never moved past a surface view of mindlessly evil shooter vs poor victims Hate List, on the other hand, is dark, psychologicalPeople do it all the time assume that they know what s going on in someone else s head That s impossible And to think it s possible is a mistake A really big mistake A life ruining one if you re not carefulThis is the kind of story I was hoping for when I read This Is Where It Ends a book that promised to delve into the darkness of school shootings, but never moved past a surface view of mindlessly evil shooter vs poor victims Hate List, on the other hand, is dark, psychological, sad and angering.So many things were running through my head while reading this upsetting novel One was an Abigail Haas quoteWouldn t we all look guilty, if someone searched hard enoughAnd another was a memory of something I wrote in my diary when I was about thirteen Back when I was an angsty, depressed teenager, I wrote the sentence some people should really just die That came back to me while reading this book I was angry, I was sad, but did I want to kill anyone No Did I have it in me to get a gun and shoot my classmates It would never even have occurred to me And that s kind of what this book is about How we all have dark thoughts now and then How we all throw away casual sentences like I could kill her but mean nothing by it.The story, while technically about a school shooting, actually goes far deeper than that The author chooses to focus not quite on the shooter, not quite on the victims, but on someone in between Valerie She was Nick s girlfriend and helped create the Hate List a list of people who had bullied them, humiliated them, judged them But it was just a harmless list of names, right Well, it was until Nick decided to walk into school one morning and pick off the people on that list, one by one, and then kill himself Now, Valerie s left alive with the blame Many believe she and Nick planned the shooting, many blame her for creating the list regardless Her own parents can t look at her Her group of friends are afraid to be associated with her.Valerie is a very sympathetic character It s easy to relate to her, to feel her pain, her guilt, her loneliness and her anger Everybody hates sometimes, and it is extremely heartbreaking to see her private hatred dragged out for the world to see and to judge It made me so angry that she was being blamed for writing down the names of those who made her life hell.And, through her, Nick is not merely an evil boy with a gun He becomes a human being full of pain and sadness, sick of being kicked into the dirt and treated like shit just for being different This book breaks down the barriers between victim and villain, between the average teenager and one capable of doing something so horrific.Whenever school shootings happen, people always look for an answer to those same questions what makes this kid different from everyone else Do they have some innate propensity to kill How am I different Oh god, am I that different And I think this book really looks at that, humanizing everyone and offering an understanding of their individual situations and motivations.It was very powerful and never once stopped making me feel something sad, angry, frustrated, concerned, and hopeful.Blog Facebook Twitter Instagram Youtube Pinterest


  2. says:

    3.5 stars After sitting on my thoughts for a day, I feel like I can t review this book with any sort of polished thought process, so I m just going to let my fingers type out whatever comes to mind I think this book probably deserves a 4 star plus rating because it is a story worth telling and a story worth reading, but a few things held me back from going higher.1 The timing was off for me. Given that my state has been rocked by several shootings over the past several years the most recent 3.5 stars After sitting on my thoughts for a day, I feel like I can t review this book with any sort of polished thought process, so I m just going to let my fingers type out whatever comes to mind I think this book probably deserves a 4 star plus rating because it is a story worth telling and a story worth reading, but a few things held me back from going higher.1 The timing was off for me. Given that my state has been rocked by several shootings over the past several years the most recent being the movie theater one the most upsetting for me personally being the one that happened in my town not long ago at a church we ve participated in activities at , I think my mind was having a hard time processing the fact that I was reading this book as fiction, for the sake of entertainment I might have been better off picking up a real account, such as Columbine instead I m not saying that Hate List trivialized the severity of the subject for the purpose of cheap thrills I ve used the word entertainment very lightly in this regard The subject matter was absolutely handled with the utmost of respect.2 Books like this should be required reading for kids around the middle school age range. Kids need to be told over and over just how bad bullying is This book managed to show many perspectives on a school shooting, but the one perspective that stood out to me the most was how one person felt like if they d been a little kinder, there might have been a chance that the entire chain reaction of events might not have been triggered ONE person out of the many bullies tormenting the offender might have been able to prevent something so horrendous from happening.3 Most of the book felt cold to me. I can t explain why I felt detached, but I was It wasn t until the very last section that everything hit me in a big way it appears that a few other friends thought the same thing , and then I started to cry The book was worth reading just for the way I felt about the last section, but there was something about the setup which felt sterile to me Maybe that was the point, who knowsbut some of the past and present transitions could have been handled a little smoother 4 I appreciated that both of the parties directly and indirectly involved with the shootings were shown as feeling, thinking, human beings. Too often, we fail to look at the person committing the crime and wonder how they got to such a place that would make them want to hurt other people This passage near the end of the book made me lose it I m not going to consider it a spoiler that you ll figure out the shooter killed himself because that happens a good portion of the time with these types of crimes, so it s something the majority of us would probably assume to be something that would happen Of course Ma would have wanted Nick remembered as a Beloved Son Of course she d do it in the most laid back way possible whispering it to him in tiny letters on his headstone Just a whisper You were beloved, son You were my beloved Even after all of this, I still remember the beloved you I can t forget.Even the worst person on earth might still have someone there, remembering them after they are gone remembering not only the bad, but also the good, the part of that person worth loving.Just typing that out had me fighting back tears Maybe if Nick had realized just how loved he was, he wouldn t have felt the need to kill those on the hate list, those people who bullied him I guess we ll never know


  3. says:

    Three words Powerful, thought provoking, riveting.The story initially jumps between the actual shooting in May and then following September when, Valerie is preparing to head back to school Then it focuses on Valerie s senior year and the after math of the shooting itself It s also laced with newspaper articles throughout the first half or so These aspects really added a certain dynamic to the novel, and made it one that particularly stands out in my mind.The narrative of this novel is Three words Powerful, thought provoking, riveting.The story initially jumps between the actual shooting in May and then following September when, Valerie is preparing to head back to school Then it focuses on Valerie s senior year and the after math of the shooting itself It s also laced with newspaper articles throughout the first half or so These aspects really added a certain dynamic to the novel, and made it one that particularly stands out in my mind.The narrative of this novel is so very compelling It s definitelyof a character driven novel than plot driven, but for this particular situation it works really well Valerie s guilt is depicted in a very realistic way, her struggle with her own identity, and her struggle to truly understand her feelings for Nick It s just heartbreaking.This is definitely a topic that needs to be discussed and explored.A fantastically written, character driven novel, that you will not soon forget


  4. says:

    This book reminded me of the song Pumped up Kicks by Foster the People It goes something like this All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, You better run, better run, outrun my gun All the other kids with the pumped up kicks,You better run, better run, faster than my bullet.In the song, the shooter s name was Robert while the guy in this book was named Nick.Nick was not a violent person.At first glance, you won t even think of him as the guy who could do something like this.He was a ho This book reminded me of the song Pumped up Kicks by Foster the People It goes something like this All the other kids with the pumped up kicks, You better run, better run, outrun my gun All the other kids with the pumped up kicks,You better run, better run, faster than my bullet.In the song, the shooter s name was Robert while the guy in this book was named Nick.Nick was not a violent person.At first glance, you won t even think of him as the guy who could do something like this.He was a hopeless romantic.But what pushed Nick to kill those students BULLYING I never experienced bullying when I was in high school so I couldn t really related to how Nick and Valerie felt.I felt for them though.I hate it when other people think they re better than anyone else.Nick and Valerie were one of the bullied ones.Valerie showed Nick her hate list and it became some sort of their favorite pastime, bully bashing behind their back.Then one day, Nick came to school with a gun and killed the people on the list along with others unsuspecting students.Val felt guilty because she felt that she had a hand on it somewhere even when she didn t really give him the idea of that massive shooting.She stopped him but still people talked.They all think she had something to do with it, including her parent which sucks.The Hate List was one of those books that would open your eyes to the reality of life.Like the other books I ve read Forbidden and But I love him , this book was something I would not forget anytime soon.It was emotional and very real.The book actually started after the incidents with little snippets of news about what happened during the shooting.I was just a little disappointed that the characters lack back stories.Although, I liked the concept, I didn t really like how it was executed.It was as if there was no other characters there than Valerie.Everything focused on her.I wanted to knowabout Nick and what really pushed him to the edge.Lack of character depth was acceptable but what I didn t find acceptable was Valerie s parents.They were completely unfair.They should have understood what she was going through not the other way.They suck at parenting.They let down their own daughter.They should have believed her because she is their daughter.Her own parent doesn t even believe her and I think that must have been hard for Val.I felt sympathy for Val and Nick.They were victims here too just like the people Nick killed.I am not saying that what Nick did was correct but what those bullies did to him was not correct either.It wasn t really clear what really caused Nick s decision of really killing them because it was never really mentioned.Not much about Nick was showed her which upset me a bit.I wanted to knowabout him.Anyways, it was a good attempt.It was very light despite the sensitivity of the topic.It was depressing yes but what can I say, it happens.Bullying happens.There are a lot of unloving parents out there too.I think the main lesson of this book is to respect one another.We have to respect other people even if they are inferior to you.There was this line from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire that I love so much and I think it would fit the moral lesson of the story If you want to know what a man s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals Need I sayI give this book 3.5 stars D


  5. says:

    What a disappointing book GAH I m so mad.Whiny heroine, whiny parents, whiny brother, whiny friends I just can t stand it And why is she trying to force the idea that Nick was still a good guy even if he shot and killed several people Don t fucking make excuses for him Ugh I mean seriously, the dad threatened to disown the girl The mom told her outright that she ruined her life for simply loving the wrong guy She wasn t even the criminal and yet her family treats her like one What kind What a disappointing book GAH I m so mad.Whiny heroine, whiny parents, whiny brother, whiny friends I just can t stand it And why is she trying to force the idea that Nick was still a good guy even if he shot and killed several people Don t fucking make excuses for him Ugh I mean seriously, the dad threatened to disown the girl The mom told her outright that she ruined her life for simply loving the wrong guy She wasn t even the criminal and yet her family treats her like one What kind of parents are these And the heroine didn t report them to the police or to a social worker or something, to how they are treating her If my parents acted like this, I d be running away Nobody deserves that kind of crap, especially from people who should automatically be by your side through thick and thin I couldn t believe how extreme they were written Not cool I was very uncomfortable.Aside from that, the constant wallowing in self pity was too exhausting Not recommending this


  6. says:

    If you are a student, then it is highly likely that you know about the constant fear of someone running on a killing spree in your school building or your university If not, then at least you probably have relatives or friends who could potentially be involved in such a tragedy, just as everyone can possibly become a victim to such a horrifying scenario That s what this book is about the way an entire school deals with a killing spree after Nick Levil opened fire in the school cafeteria, kill If you are a student, then it is highly likely that you know about the constant fear of someone running on a killing spree in your school building or your university If not, then at least you probably have relatives or friends who could potentially be involved in such a tragedy, just as everyone can possibly become a victim to such a horrifying scenario That s what this book is about the way an entire school deals with a killing spree after Nick Levil opened fire in the school cafeteria, killing several students and himself I am not that well informed about the circumstances in different countries, but here in Germany, tragedies like these have accompanied people for years, especially after the well known and widely dreaded shooting sprees of Erfurt 2002 , Emsdetten 2006 and Winnenden 2009 Emergency plans are now hanging on the doors of each classroom and instructions are given how to behave in such a case at the beginning of every schoolyear.But past events and the severe lack of security measures tell another story that it would be easy for almost everyone to walk into a classroom or a lecture hall and kill at least ten people by random before someone can stop the killer This is something which can never be truly predicted or prevented, not even with huge prevention activites which, of course, cannot be found here at the moment And this fear or becoming victim to such a tragedy as well as the aftermaths of it are what Hate List by Jennifer Brown deals with.Killing sprees are a serious topic which now and then invades the headlines and causes serious upheaval among the population What makes it such a fascinating topic for an author to explore It s the way they can t be predicted Which thoughts have to run through the mind of a young person before walking through his or her school and killing dozens of people How can such a deed be motivated Why is it that nobody, not the parents, nor the friends, nor the girlfriend, ever sensed that something could happen In this book, Valerie Leftman, the first person narrator, is introduced as the girlfriend of the boy who killed those innocent people While in their relationship, Nick was sweet, loving and caring, even though Valerie knew that he had some contacts to the wrong friends In addition to that, Nick and Valerie, both considering themselves to be outsiders in their school, created a Hate List with the names of people they hate And when Nick begins the shooting, those persons whose names appear on that list are chosen by him explicitly to be killed before finally he can be stopped, leading him to kill himself When the book begins, five months have passed, and Valerie has to return to her school again Everyone considers her to be the girlfriend of that killer, some even accuse her of having known about his plans, and nothing is going to make it easy for Valerie at her school.The social issue weighed heavily into this book, but apart from that, Valerie felt like a typical seventeen year old teenager to me, portrayed with almost the same character traits as all the other seventeen year old female protagonists in all those Young Adult novels out there Her character had nothing special surrounding her, except for the constant self pitying and selfishness Her father was portrayed in a way which could not have beennegative, a way which is sadly too often occuring in reality Her mother was portrayed in a way mothers shouldn t be portrayed, and the only character who sticked out to me as being interesting was Nick Levil, the perpetrator, for the mere fact that nobody suspected anything before he went on his killing spree The most enthralling part of this novel was the way the author dealt with Nick s complicated mind after all, what could turn a guy who reads Shakespeare for fun and has a relatively healthy social life into a killer In the end, the premise convinced me most in this novel, while the characters fell flat for me and the plot balanced on a constant middle course between boring and interesting However, it is possible that this novel was just a case of it s me, not you , so I will recommend reading Anne s fantastic review and let yourself be convinced that this book deserves to be checked out


  7. says:

    4.5 starsIt s been five months Five months since that tragic day That day when Nick decides to open fire on his school cafeteria killing those who were on the Hate List That list, which was written by him and his girlfriend Valerie, classified all those that used to torment them both during the school day Students, bullies, teachers, popular kids several of them were shot by Nick until Valerie tries to stop the slaughter, inadvertently saves a classmate and ends up being shot in the leg i 4.5 starsIt s been five months Five months since that tragic day That day when Nick decides to open fire on his school cafeteria killing those who were on the Hate List That list, which was written by him and his girlfriend Valerie, classified all those that used to torment them both during the school day Students, bullies, teachers, popular kids several of them were shot by Nick until Valerie tries to stop the slaughter, inadvertently saves a classmate and ends up being shot in the leg in the process After spending months in the hospital, where she is treated like a potential suspect and being send to a psychological unit, she is finally send home to rest and heal It s now time to return to school to complete her senior year, Valerie realizes that her worst wounds are not physical She will need to face hate, judgment and guilt I really loved how this book was written I enjoyed both the writing style and the way both the past and the present were alternating It s a subject that really touches me and I loved how it was handled It wasn t only about victims and culprits The Hate List was so layered and so deep, I recommend it to any reader.Mild spoilers beyond this point This book circles about perceptions How to Valerie, the Hate List was a way to release herself as to Nick it was a list of potential target How they were both angry but that in the end, they didn t have the same perception of boundaries Their perception of limits and retribution weren t on the same scale And it was what amazed me the most I think it was also what despaired Valerie the most and what made her denial so hard to overcome How two persons that close, always talking, sending texts and email to each other all night long, could be such strangers to one another How could Valerie hadn t see nor guessed what was happening in Nick s mind She was so lost that she ended up isolating herself She pushed away anyone that came to her, to help her She rejected her family, her former friends and even classmates I think that the fact that Nick killed himself made things worse for Valerie She blamed herself for not seeing it coming She was angry at everyone including herself It wasn t really about self pitying, butabout the fact that she learned that the person she loved the most was a complete stranger and she couldn t ask for explanation She needed something, anything from him a justification, an apology, or even a prove that she couldn t have known Her all world collapsed and she lost faith and trust toward her friends and familyJust like there s always time for pain, there s always time for healingIt takes a long time to Valerie to stop bargaining about what she could have done to prevent the tragedy To have known better, and to have had someinsight of the slippery slope Nick was caught in She has an amazing therapist, who is basically the only person she trusts, he helps her dealing with her feelings, her guilt and her depression, to go through the day To my opinion, when she started to go back in school, it was the beginning of the going better process Even though it was really hard for her to be confronted to the school situation, I think she was less dwelling on her misery However I understand how difficult it must have been for her to be stared and the object of murmurs and resentment The process of acceptance is gradual and well brought The main being about seeking forgiveness Our closes ones as well as our own TheI read, theI realized that the most important was not the absolution of those she wronged, but her own acceptance and mercy for herself To accept that everyone deals with death and loss his or her own way, and that it s okay to be mad, it s okay to still love, it s okay to stretch your hand to yesterday s foe and make him your friend


  8. says:

    I genuinely believe this is a life changing book it s definitely made me think differently about life Wow Just, wow FULL REVIEW BELOW You know when you hear someone say, One day, you will find a book that will change the way you think about life Yeah Well for me, that book was Hate List.This book is one which hasn t got the most action packed plot, yet is rather driven by the stunning, multi layered characters Valerie, our main protagonist was such an interesting character to read abo I genuinely believe this is a life changing book it s definitely made me think differently about life Wow Just, wow FULL REVIEW BELOW You know when you hear someone say, One day, you will find a book that will change the way you think about life Yeah Well for me, that book was Hate List.This book is one which hasn t got the most action packed plot, yet is rather driven by the stunning, multi layered characters Valerie, our main protagonist was such an interesting character to read about, observing how she deals with the loss of her boyfriend, and her conflicting feelings as to whether it is right to love a monster Though Valerie s boyfriend, Nick he shooter is dead, the book also carries his haunting voice throughout the book, which honestly gave me chills as I began to understand that he too, is a victim, a stupid, vulnerable victim.The structure of this book is also what made it so strong The book follows a chronological order, from the day of the shooting right up until a year after, yet manages to cleverly refer back to the accident through newspaper clipping, documenting the deaths and destruction that the shooting caused, constantly reminding the reader the effects of the tragedy and heightening the sheer emotion that this book possesses This book honestly had such an emotional impact on me Heck, I think I cried eight times I feel so lucky that I got to read such a hauntingly beautiful book, and I believe that Valeries story of bravery and forgiveness, will stay with me for a long time A million stars out of 5


  9. says:

    A WISE MAN ONCE SAID.Oh, don t roll your eyes He IS wiseOVERVIEW People hate That s our reality People hate and are hated and carry grudges and want punishments I don t know if it s possible to take hate away from people Not even people like us, who ve seen firsthand what hate can do We re all hurting We re all going to be hurting for a long time And we, probablythan anyone else out there, will be searching for a new reality every day A better one But in order to c A WISE MAN ONCE SAID.Oh, don t roll your eyes He IS wiseOVERVIEW People hate That s our reality People hate and are hated and carry grudges and want punishments I don t know if it s possible to take hate away from people Not even people like us, who ve seen firsthand what hate can do We re all hurting We re all going to be hurting for a long time And we, probablythan anyone else out there, will be searching for a new reality every day A better one But in order to change reality you have to be willing to listen and to learn And to hear To actually hear Five months ago, Valerie Leftman was implicated in a tragic event that occurred in her high school s cafeteria Now she has to return to those same halls and people who blame her for the crime which was committed, because Valerie s hate list was what prompted the high school shooting that marked a great change in the lives of the people of her hometown.Hate List is very nearly an excellent piece of work that dares to be honest, sensitive and consequential in it s themes The story is told in present chapters, news reports and articles, flashbacks which take us through Valerie s memories of the day of the shooting, and the days beforeI LL TELL YOU EXACTLY HOW I FELT WHILE AND AFTER READING THISI think this book changed me a bit Sometimes when I read a story, no matter how invested I am, no matter how integrated I am into it, I imagine the story world is a glass globe, and I m standing on the outside looking in They say onlookers see muchthan the players I m the onlooker, I should have aspired toinsight But I didn t I simply couldn t And I swear I felt bamboozled and was very frustrated, like I was cheated out of my advantage and rightful privilege I won t lieBUT I ve thought about the realities of this story and I still can t for the life of me understand the science behind them all But I like this, this state of confutation is magnificent It shouldn t be easy to assign blame, close the case and call it a day It s wrong if it s that easy It s wrong and inadequate Many times I was angry at how thorough Brown was in exploring and communicating the feelings of the characters because I had no excuse to be lazy in my perceptionsTHIS WAS MY VERY FIRST BOOK ON THE SUBJECT OF HIGHSCHOOL SHOOTINGSo like the heading says, this was my very first book on the subject of highschool shooting, and I don t know if that should mean something But it does, it really does, because in reality I had never thought about the subject and I never imagined I d read a book on it But we re readers and we keep circling in and out of orbit, so that s that One thing that struck me about this story was the mundaneness of it s progression, the casualty of it s fuel source Think about it Have you ever made a list and if not a physical list, a mental one of things you hated, situations you wished you could take by the neck and wring the life out of, people you wanted gone, hurt, or both Have you ever been that angry Have you ever been that acidified Burning and boiling and raging And what if someone took that list and turned it into a gross reality What if they turned your anger into something monstrously real and happening Well, the answer is simple really.Valerie started the Hate List that morphed into a target list which her boyfriend, Nick Levil, used to orchestrate an high school shooting A shooting that left some dead, others hurt including Valerie who was shot in the leg when she tried to stop the shooting, and Nick with a bullet in his head Just thinking about this scene alone is dizzying But the hardest part of the ordeal is the blame assigning And along with that, the troubles of the aftermath Dealing with loss and coming back to life after so many deaths, gaining back trust, forgiveness, friends, family and the love of a community that needs to grieve, and demands the comfort of having someone to blame Those were the hardest parts, going through all those transitions were hard, not just for Valerie, but also for the reader Because here is the time to doubt your sense of discernment You re human, you d love to blame someone too We follow Valerie s shifts between different personas Sometimes she s the sad girl and sometimes she s the monster Sometimes she knows she tried her best and sometimes she s a failure A hero A victim A culprit An accomplice It s all she could do to assume all these roles, to bear the burden of the crime she didn t commit, but somehow unconsciously permitted And then think about this, the greatest struggle after coming to terms with the deaths That the boy you loved, a boy you felt one with at some point in your estranged lives could dip his hands into such dirty and dark things, use his hands to commit such an atrocity How do you reconcile the love you feel with the crime How do you reconcile your guilt with your role in the crime Because even though Valerie wasn t aware of Nick s shooting plans, she did a bitthan just start the list, she helped it flourish by making namely contributions She spewed hate and vented angrily But she thought she was doing just that venting She didn t know Nick was meaning it Meaning to take it one step further Meaning for them to be the winners, just onceWe all got to be winners sometimes But what he didn t understand was that we all had to be losers, too Because you can t have one without the otherOne thing that frustrated the sanity out of me was Nick Some characters in this book would have you believe that Nick was a genetic waste Right from the womb, he was meant for troubleYes, something wasn t quite right with that boy from the startBut I wonder, is anyone ever born to be a high school shooter Do some parents just wake up one morning and decide to have a baby that will be named catastrophe and carnage A baby that will grow so full and tipping with hate and fury that he d one day take a gun out and kill his school mates and himself And if this isn t so, when did the poison set in If he didn t come out bouncy with hate, then what It all comes down to the time in between, it comes down to society Society, environment and people All the systems that mould us, change us, and break us But you assume you know his mind You conclude that because he killed, killing was his singular thought You assume you know because it s easier that way There s a reason, so logic has prevailed and all is right with the world again But is it possible to know anyone s mind To know without doubt all the emotions they re capable of feeling and things they re capable of doingPeople do it all the time assume that they know what s going on in someone else s head That s impossible And to think it s possible is a mistake A really big mistake A life ruining one if you re not carefulDon t you wonder about it How shattered could a person be for them to lose that little bit of humanity that shuns murder and values something as fragile and invaluable as life It s funny how people never asked the question why And society in reality is exactly this way I m not saying the shooting is right, I m not trying to downplay the tragedy but there s a cause to the effect No one really took account of the fact that Nick and Valerie were harassed, abused and bullied day after day, because those are crimes less than murder Just not bloody and stigmatizing enough to call for jail sentences and get the orange jumpsuits out But we forget there is no grade to wrongness I forgot this in the beginning, and every time Valerie tried to convince me of Nick s goodness, convince herself of his humanity, I forgot this It s wrong because it s wrong The bullying was wrong, and so was the shootingTHE THEMES AND MOTIFS IN THIS BOOK WHICH I DARE NOT EXPATIATE ON OR ELSE NOVELVersions of Reality Judgement Valerie and Nick were so frivolous in their judgments They hardly knew the truth of some people they placed on their list Tragedy Family and parental involvement Forgiveness Media Societal estrangements and constraints The world of High school Therapy and counseling No seriously, if you meet the psychiatrist in this book you ll understand what I m saying Grateful is the word Some people will probably abuse me for this, but I don t blame Valerie s parents for some of their reactions I believe that it s not easy to be adequate in our reactions sometimes in the face of life changing tragic situations But we try We try and we fail And that s the point of all these characters But yes, a great big part of me kept wishing that someone would set Valerie s awful father straight Or crooked.JK guys JKWHAT IT MEANS TO FIND LOVE UNHEALTHY LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACESomething I found really harrowing was how unhealthy Nick and Valerie s relationship was Sometimes it seemed like it needed hate to thrive They needed to hate and be angry and spiteful to feel together To be one in love Nick and Valerie were odd kids, both alienated by the nature of their individual make ups and circumstances that were out of their control Broken families, troubled lives, insensitive peers And lost knows lost, so they found themselves in each other and became lost together I don t know honestly I m really, truly still doubting my deductions even after weeks following my reading I m doubting so much, this is just my two cents I m putting in Amidst all that hate, Valerie related moments of innocent love and untainted happiness that did nothing for my confusion So I ve come to the conclusion that their love was very schizophrenic And yet they found comfort in it Maybe it was all wrong and sully, but who and what could have saved them both You understand through Valerie and Nick s relationship that in such a relationship, you could be happy You could be really happy, but the question is for how long before you crash And so I say to you, define MasterpieceSONGSBecause my feelings will never be resolute, Don t give a damn about your reasons Nick.Broken by James Bugg For ValerieScars by Foxes For Graduation day Time capsule scene Quiet In My Town by Civil TwilightI NEED MEDICINE PEOPLE PRE REVIEW I D HONESTLY REALLY LOVE TO DO THIS But first I need to find the words.Review to come when I m lessWords Give Me Words


  10. says:

    Initial reaction There aren t a lot of books that make me cry This one made me teary eyed in places.It s a book that covers many difficult subjects and emotions, and there are definitely a lot of times where Valerie was a difficult character to follow, but man her emotions, experiences all felt very genuine and real to me.Val s parents were horrible.Listened to this via audiobook, beautifully narrated.Full review Oh man, how on earth do I write a review on Jennifer Brown s Hate List Hon Initial reaction There aren t a lot of books that make me cry This one made me teary eyed in places.It s a book that covers many difficult subjects and emotions, and there are definitely a lot of times where Valerie was a difficult character to follow, but man her emotions, experiences all felt very genuine and real to me.Val s parents were horrible.Listened to this via audiobook, beautifully narrated.Full review Oh man, how on earth do I write a review on Jennifer Brown s Hate List Honestly have no idea what took me so long to read this book I really do enjoy books that challenge the way that I think about tough subjects and delve into the matter with such an intimate perspective and character growth arc This book was no different.But reading Hate List hurt I m not going to mince words about it, this hit me in a place I wasn t expecting to be hit at all Weird that I m writing this review shortly after watching a Criminal Minds episode where the anniversary of a school shooting took place The journey was such an emotionally sharp one, holding me in a vice like grip and not letting go until I listened to the last minute I ll admit I actually wept during parts of this because it hit me that much.This is the story of a girl named Valerie whose boyfriend Nick was the center of a mass school shooting that left several students dead or permanently scarred mentally and physically , her being shot in the leg, and ultimately him turning the gun on himself I ll admit if there was one flaw that I could name in the duration of this narrative right off the bat, there s a bit of a run around in the timeline for events, but it makes sense as the book moves forward because it s dealing with Valerie s Val s recall and rollercoaster of grief When we meet her, she s not the most likable person to follow She s between these PTSD states as she attempts to return to school for the first time in months after the shooting.Suffice to say, people are not happy to see her, not just for the fact that her former boyfriend was the shooter, but he targeted people based on a list of people she made those that either tormented them or hung in the same circles as those people So Val s having PTSD from not just the shooting itself, but for her role in events with it, even for inadvertently saving the life of a fellow classmate in trying to stop Nick from shooting anyone else The narrative takes the reader through not just the event, but for Val s reminiscence of her relationship with Nick and the conflicting emotions she feels in not being able to understand the divide between her good memories with him, his distancing, and the consequences of what he did.Watching Val go through therapy and the conflict of emotions in that process really hit home with me I found it so realistic, especially with the strong performance of the audio narrator, Kathleen McInerney Val has to not only come to terms with what happened in the past, but deal with the changes in her relationships at school as well as at home Val had a very unstable home and school life, between being bullied, her parents on the verge of divorce, and Nick drawing further and further away in the time before the shooting occurred Once Val s recollection of the event and the direct aftermath of her recovery is covered, Val s process of moving forward is showcased through her developing relationships and seeing what s really there among both the adults in her community and her peers within the student body It really struck me to see how much Val grew and came to terms with it all and the ending punctuated an emotional journey which culminated with Val s graduating class.I didn t always like the surrounding cast of characters seriously, Val s parents made me angry in this book I couldn t believe the way they treated their daughter, but I had the understanding that they were grieving and had their respective flaws That understanding was what got me through some of the tougher places of the narrative It s dramatic, but palpable I LOVED Dr Heiler s character he really came through as an outstanding character not just in Val s recovery, but in his own person as well for support in a community that s still trying to pick up the pieces for the event Jessica was also a very surprising character with the way she came across Val inadvertently saved her life, but Jessica becomesthan just the mean girl character that she s purported to be at first The event changes her, much like the student body, and she has a push pull relationship with Val which becomes a stronger bond as the two relate with each other.Definitely a recommended read, and especially in its audio format I loved this book and name it as a new favorite Will definitely be readingof Jennifer Brown s work in the future.Overall score 4.5 5 stars

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